Approach flying like The Pickup Artist
You are never doing enough and because of that this is what you deserve
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Dear Shaun,
Should I stop flying? With the smog, wildfires, increasing heat, and more intense storms I feel like it is something I should not do anymore. I don’t fly often, but I am feeling increasingly guilty about doing so. The more I think about other modes of travel though, the more stressed out I get. Driving seems pretty bad too, and trains aren’t exactly effective. What do I do?
-Fearful Flyer
Dear Fearful Flyer,
I am currently building my own playset for my son to play on in our backyard. I am not a trained carpenter. I am bad at measuring and do not have the patience nor skill to cut wood correctly. Also, I did not factor in that I was building it on a hill. Despite it all, this thing is sturdy and once it is sanded it will be a joy to jump around on. Is it pretty? No. Will it work? Absolutely. Did I spend $1,400 on it? No. I spent $550. What does this have to do with flying? I actually don’t really know.
You could mash together a metaphor about being unskilled and not as knowledgeable as an excuse to stop flying because you are not a climate expert. Or, on the other hand, you could tie together some ideas around being frugal, as a way to be a better citizen of Earth. You could even just say that paying some more money would have gotten me a better, more well-built playset and I even could have paid someone to put it together for me (in this metaphor, the more money and the people to do it for me are the airlines, I think).
I think one of the biggest scams giant corporations pulled on us was making us believe that it was on the “collective us” to save the world. Growing up I thought that recycling and shutting the fridge and having shorter showers and the promise of electric vehicles were going to save the world from climate change. If these companies put the onus on us and convince us that our personal choices are enough, then when the world keeps getting hotter and the storms keep getting crazier we’ll only have ourselves to blame. We didn’t do enough to save the planet.
I think this goes for air travel as well. The system was set up for us to wear Crocs and pick our noses next to strangers in giant flying busses to get to a conference in Phoenix. The system was set up for us learn that our flight has been delayed and we now have to sleep on the floor of the Atlanta Airport. The system was set up for us to pay hundreds of dollars and when promised a snack we get a cookie so dry our bodies cannot digest it. You are never doing enough and because of that this is what you deserve.
I am very open to not flying. But I am also not available to take a three-day train ride to Houston to visit my in-laws. If you have the time I say by all means. If you want to drive for any amount of time on either Interstate 95 or Interstate 10, have at it. Flying does cause a lot of air pollution and it does burn a lot of fuel. But at least you’re not in your private jet going from club to show to besties bday party like some celebrities.
I say keep flying and leave a bad review every single time you fly. I say we all start doing that. Just keep panning the industry. Neg them into liking us. Let us adopt The Pick Up Artist’s trick and be mean to these companies so then the bow to us. My heart is racing right now on how good of an idea this is. I’ll start and I’ll see you in 1st Class!
NEWS
Next week is Worcester Hot Dog Safari Week! Follow The Worcester Hot Dog Safari on Instagram. It is on of my favorite weeks of the year and this one should be an all-timer. Friday we are kicking off the weekend with Worcester best comedy show Hot Dog! at World Famous George’s Coney Island! Show is free bring some money for dogs and to pay the comics when we pass the hat. It’s going to be an incredible time. Flyer below:
