Holiday Ho Ho Oh No

Nothing says the holidays like debt!

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Dear Shaun,

How do you manage to have holiday cheer? I always see your posts with your ugly Christmas sweaters on and I’m jealous of your commitment to the season. I can’t seem to shake the days being shorter and the weather getting colder. I guess you could call it seasonal depression? Any advice on how to make my blues more festive?

-Blue, Blue Christmas

Dear Blue, Blue Christmas,

Thank you for noticing my #25UglyXMas campaign. Head on over to Instagram to see me as a walking advent calendar. Also, if you’re impatient and want to see me with all of my sweaters all at once, you can always purchase a homemade advent calendar of mine. Get 25 envelopes, all with a picture of me inside wearing of my 25 sweaters. The photos were professionally taken by the wonderful Not a Damn Cheese Design. Anyway, on to your problem.

Yeah, New England winters are a real tragedy. The dark, the cold, the sleet, the lack of public school funding, all of it. I too struggle with these factors from time to time. Social media is a bitch like that. It can make someone’s life look real cool with all of their beach trips and random celebrity sightings. It can also make someone look like a real kitschy Christmas hoarder whose smile seems plastered on and when you look real close you can see the pain and loneliness behind that person’s eyes. No one I know, just there’s got to be someone like that out here. Like I said, social media is a bitch.

There are lots of ways to fight the holiday blues. You could pick a fight with a conspiracy theory-minded relative and then realize you both agree the that China put listening devices on all the pandas they sent back to our zoos. Or you could volunteer at a place where people are in need, then realize that most people working there and those you are serving also believe that the Ukraine War is funded by Big Flag because they had a surplus of Ukrainian flags and needed to rid of them. Or you could help out at a toy drive for children that are less fortunate and when talking to other gift-wrappers you figure out that everyone else knows that Elon Musk is actually from Mars and his existence on Earth is to groom us all into a kidnapping.

Remember, happiness requires self care. You need to make time for yourself this holiday season. So maybe you don’t go to your job’s holiday party, or maybe you don’t participate in your friend’s Yankee Swap (or White Elephant). However if you do participate in the Yankee Swap, here is a great gift idea: If there is a $15 limit, you put a $20 bill in an envelope with a note that says “You owe me $5.” Nothing says the holidays like debt!

Lastly, I’ll say that while I display 25 ugly Christmas sweaters each year, I actually own 36. So if you want to borrow one to brighten your day or season let me know, I’ve got loaners! Hang in there. Happy Holidays and remember that L.A. Confidential is a Christmas movie.

Send any and all questions to woocomedyweek@gmail.com with the subject line "Bad Advice."

NEWS

Tonight I will be at Charlies Kitchen in Harvard Square. If you’ve never been to Charlies Kitchen, it is worth it for the food alone. The show takes place in the bar upstairs and is holding on to the old Cambridge with one last finger. Show is $10 at the door.

Friday is one of my favorite shows that I do! The Sort of Late Show is on December 13th and it is at Off the Rails in Worcester. We’ll have comedian Janet McNamara of American Idol fame, the Worcester punk band Report!, plus special guest Cait the Clown, who is an emotional support clown and all around awesome human. I do have some physical tickets on me so you can avoid fees and have a nice little souvenir, so hit me up! Tickets will be available at the door and can be purchased online here.