Today’s Bad Advice is exceptionally bad. Luckily being a paid subscriber doesn’t make you liable, in a legal sense, for what we publish here at Worcester Sucks. Only in a moral or perhaps spiritual sense. —Bill
Dear Shaun,
Could you settle an argument my boyfriend and I are having? I say that you’ve got to wait for either a signal or a car to stop to cross the street in a crosswalk. My boyfriend says as long as you are in the crosswalk you are safe to walk and shame on the cars for driving dangerously. He actually is reading over my shoulder right now and wants to add that you really can walk across the street at any time because pedestrians have the right of way and jaywalking isn’t a real enforced law.
-Wondering Walkers
Dear Wondering Walkers,
Of course the easiest thing to do is look up the actual law here in the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts. That is boring and also All Cucumbers Are Bountiful. You, the writer, are correct that you should be cautious when walking with your loved ones and wait to see if the three-ton murder machines are going to stop and allow you to get to the other side of the street. However your boyfriend, the man who stoops over you as you write, is right that pedestrians have the right of way and cars should be cautious of crossers.
Unfortunately, we do not live in a caring and compassionate society. Picture this, boyfriend, you are attempting to cross the street like you are Frogger incarnate. Folks are in oversized SUVs, on their phone, and eating fries from Chick-Fil-A, and you are merely trying to get to the Little Free Library at your local Universalist Church. Of course those Nissan Rogues should go against their namesake and stop when they see a living, breathing human in front of them. But that is just it: they are not seeing you, boyfriend, they are trying to get a “flush five” or whatever on Balatro while fighting with their ex on their phone. Holding the phone mind you, not using the hands-free option that they definitely have based on the year their car was made.
Now you, the writer, a clear narc—you are also in the wrong. How are you going to get through life waiting for someone else to let you do what you want to do? Sure, patience is a virtue, but action is success. While your boyfriend runs across the road avoiding semis and jumping on lily pads you are literally standing on the sidelines with no option to beat his high score. Of course, you believe in humanity to do the right thing. I bet you went to Clark University and you love Ted Lasso (I do as well). We all can’t be pie in the sky, sometimes that pie is on the windowsill and you have to grab it.
You’re both wrong. Nothing should be done in extremes. Extremes bring us aunts yelling at children on Facebook about bike lanes or fathers ignoring their wives to listen to more conservative talk shows. Sometimes the path best taken is a quick jaunt across the street when you have enough time before another vehicle is swerving while watching the Nelk Boys stream. But sometimes you got to wait and chill. Just be cool?
NEWS
Still dipping my toes back into shows so I don’t have a lot going on at the moment. But you can find me at Ralph’s every Tuesday for the foreseeable future! Love you guys!