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Dear Shaun,
Should I run away from home? I’m 16 and I’m over it. Can’t I just get away from my parents?
-Name Redacted
Dear Name Redacted,
Yeah, go for it. What have you got to lose?
Before I continue, on a serious note, if you are in a situation where you are unsafe please reach out to the authorities or someone in you network who can help get you out of that rotten situation.
Considering your blasé “and I’m over it” line, your situation seems more like teen angst, not danger. So, I will continue to recommend that you get out of Dodge. I know for a fact that you do not know what that reference means. “Get outta Dodge” refers to Dodge City, Kansas, a place that serves as the framework for our image of the “Wild West.” Dodge City was full of bars, brothels, and gunfights. If you have a picture of a Western movie, you are picturing what Dodge City was. The quote “get outta Dodge” references getting out of a bad situation because you’re probably going to get killed.
Now, while I understand that you’re most likely not going to be murdered at your home, you may feel like you may die or boredom or familial chores, but that is not the same. And I understand that the fights you are probably getting in with your parents may feel like high noon at the OK Corral, but they are most likely closer to the Christian teen drama 7th Heaven. You’re welcome for all of these dated references.
Do you have a plan? Where are you going to go? Your friends house? The tents near Southbridge Street? Your tree house in the backyard? Listen, running away does seem enticing! Unfortunately, we are set up, currently, in an oppressive capitalist system. You need money, you need a job. That is the only way to consistently keep a roof over your head and food in your tummy. (Yeah I said ‘tummy,’ because I think of you as a child still).
I want you to consider the reasons you are “over it.” I very much did not want to live with my parents. I wanted out starting at 13. I rebelled constantly. I once chucked an apple at my dad’s head. I once told my mom to go fuck herself. You know where I live now? Next door to my mom (and technically my dad? His ashes are over there). Can parents suck? Yeah, it is kind of their job. They love you and care for you and want you safe. Can they be unreasonable and closed-minded? Also yes, our parents are people as well. They have flaws, they make errors, and overall may just have a different world view than you.
Think of it this way. For now, they are your meal ticket. They let you sleep in a bed, eat their food and take a shit in their toilet. Use them! They are going to loan you money someday, so don’t wrinkle the fabric of your relationship. Milk them for everything they got! What are parents but cash cows for your personal trainer business or a blank check for car repairs? Take advantage of their obligation to keep you alive for these next couple of years because someday you’re going to have to keep yourself alive wholly on your own. And if there is one thing I am definitely over, it is adulthood under capitalism.
NEWS
This week we have the Live Forever Open Mic as always at Ralph’s Rock Diner list goes out at 7:30, show starts sometime after 8. Anyone can sign up!
Friday I’ll be at Hideout Comedy at White Bull Tavern, I’m featuring for the hilarious Daniel Van Kirk, if you haven’t seen him check this out. You can grab tickets here.
Also, our regular first Thursday shows at Boland’s are starting back up September 4th! There will be a super high profile special guest, it should be epic!
7th Heaven Reference **TOP NOTCH**