Jealous Much?
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Dear Shaun,
I am a very jealous person. That is a really hard thing for me to admit. It helps that this is anonymous. Truthfully, even though it is a subject of many of the fights that I have had with previous partners, I never admit it. I guess I am stubborn too. But I was wondering if there is any way to help me get over jealousy. I feel like I am the reason for many of my breakups. I would like to attempt to mend previous relationships and possibly be open to finding love in the future. Any words of wisdom for me?
-Jealous
Dear Jealous,
Jealousy is a hard thing to get rid of. I am not a jealous person because I am amazing. Why would I want to covet something or someone when I have it all? Truly, I think jealousy is a confidence issue. You’ve got to be sure of yourself, sure of your surroundings, and confident that you can have it all.
Do I lose confidence in myself? Sure. We all have moments of weakness. Usually, I lose it a little when someone around me has made me second-guess myself. They make me question my reality, and yeah, I get jealous. Not of the thing that they have or the person they are with or the situation they came into, no. I am more jealous that they got me to feel that way before I could make them feel that way first.
If someone else has something that I thought I wanted, turns out I didn’t need it. If it was something I needed then I would have got it, because I deserve the world. But you’re talking about a partner of yours just talking with someone else. That’s what makes you jealous. If they are having fun without you, or enjoying someone else’s company, that’s what makes you see red. Sure, understandable to a point.
Scenario: You and your partner go out for drinks. You get there and a bunch of other folks you all know are there as well. One person there is an old friend of your partner’s. There is definitely a familiarity there. You’ve noticed it. Is it flirtation? Or is it comfort and ease? It has made you spiral before. Their conversation and interactions have ruined your night in the past. You either throw cold water on their good time, or you end up getting super flirty with someone else, sending crazy mixed signals to everyone in the room. You’re not having fun flirting because the person you chose, while very attractive, is such a drip. They are also bad at flirting. They just wanted to make out with you. There is no gamesmanship. You start to get frustrated, even angry. Then, you remember why you were flirting in the first place. You look over to your partner and they are laughing at something someone else said. It isn’t even the person you were first jealous about. But now you are furious. Your partner didn’t even notice the effort you were putting in to make your partner feel like you do.
Solution: Go to the bathroom. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are just like Shaun Connolly. “He is amazing, therefore I am too,” you say. You take out a Sharpie or lipstick and write it on the bathroom wall for everyone to see. You are paying it forward. You are happy. You go home and have the greatest sex of your life. You’re welcome.
NEWS
Hot Dog! at George’s Coney Island Hot Dogs is Friday! Comedians will spin a wheel to find out their set and you never know what will happen. It is a free show and it is so goddamn fun. We had a blast last month and this one is fixing to be amazing too.
This month is honestly slow for me, shows-wise. But May 31st we are doing another Sort of Late Show at Off the Rails. We have a lot of great guests including the Murrow Award-winning journalist Matt Shearer! He may be better known to you as ReporterMatt on Instagram and TikTok. Check out his stories here.
We will also have Ellen Benson from WooSkates, comedian Paul Henry, and our musical guest Jake McKelvie. I have some physical tickets to sell or you can purchase them online. Flyers for both shows I mentioned are below.
Dear Shaun,
I am a very jealous person. That is a really hard thing for me to admit. It helps that this is anonymous. Truthfully, even though it is a subject of many of the fights that I have had with previous partners, I never admit it. I guess I am stubborn too. But I was wondering if there is any way to help me get over jealousy. I feel like I am the reason for many of my breakups. I would like to attempt to mend previous relationships and possibly be open to finding love in the future. Any words of wisdom for me?
-Jealous
Dear Jealous,
Jealousy is a hard thing to get rid of. I am not a jealous person because I am amazing. Why would I want to covet something or someone when I have it all? Truly, I think jealousy is a confidence issue. You’ve got to be sure of yourself, sure of your surroundings, and confident that you can have it all.
Do I lose confidence in myself? Sure. We all have moments of weakness. Usually, I lose it a little when someone around me has made me second-guess myself. They make me question my reality, and yeah, I get jealous. Not of the thing that they have or the person they are with or the situation they came into, no. I am more jealous that they got me to feel that way before I could make them feel that way first.
If someone else has something that I thought I wanted, turns out I didn’t need it. If it was something I needed then I would have got it, because I deserve the world. But you’re talking about a partner of yours just talking with someone else. That’s what makes you jealous. If they are having fun without you, or enjoying someone else’s company, that’s what makes you see red. Sure, understandable to a point.
Scenario: You and your partner go out for drinks. You get there and a bunch of other folks you all know are there as well. One person there is an old friend of your partner’s. There is definitely a familiarity there. You’ve noticed it. Is it flirtation? Or is it comfort and ease? It has made you spiral before. Their conversation and interactions have ruined your night in the past. You either throw cold water on their good time, or you end up getting super flirty with someone else, sending crazy mixed signals to everyone in the room. You’re not having fun flirting because the person you chose, while very attractive, is such a drip. They are also bad at flirting. They just wanted to make out with you. There is no gamesmanship. You start to get frustrated, even angry. Then, you remember why you were flirting in the first place. You look over to your partner and they are laughing at something someone else said. It isn’t even the person you were first jealous about. But now you are furious. Your partner didn’t even notice the effort you were putting in to make your partner feel like you do.
Solution: Go to the bathroom. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are just like Shaun Connolly. “He is amazing, therefore I am too,” you say. You take out a Sharpie or lipstick and write it on the bathroom wall for everyone to see. You are paying it forward. You are happy. You go home and have the greatest sex of your life. You’re welcome.
NEWS
Hot Dog! at George’s Coney Island Hot Dogs is Friday! Comedians will spin a wheel to find out their set and you never know what will happen. It is a free show and it is so goddamn fun. We had a blast last month and this one is fixing to be amazing too.
This month is honestly slow for me, shows-wise. But May 31st we are doing another Sort of Late Show at Off the Rails. We have a lot of great guests including the Murrow Award-winning journalist Matt Shearer! He may be better known to you as ReporterMatt on Instagram and TikTok. Check out his stories here.
We will also have Ellen Benson from WooSkates, comedian Paul Henry, and our musical guest Jake McKelvie. I have some physical tickets to sell or you can purchase them online. Flyers for both shows I mentioned are below.
