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And still a few tickets left for the live Outdoor Cats event at Hunchback Gallery on Friday night! Our first live show and you never know possibly the last, so… tickets here. —Bill
Horrorscopes
Taurus- The moon just had four visitors and just can’t right now. So, like, I don’t know just go, like, talk to Orion or Venus or someone. The moon’s social battery is low and just needs to recharge. Come see them next month and maybe they can go on a walk or grab a drink or something. Thanks for understanding.
Gemini- The stars are not aligned, they are scattered. This is what happens when you don’t take care of your stuff. You’re missing one? See, what did I tell you. This wouldn’t have happened if you just picked up your stars before bed like I told you.
Cancer- Next time you’re at a party, bring cue cards. It will really liven up some conversations for some people.
Leo- Food noise is real. Those burgers are talking to you. They are gabbing. They want to be eaten. Give them what they want.
Virgo- Looking for a side gig? ASMR influencer. There are ears that need to listen to your wet mouth next to an expensive microphone.
Libra- There is a saying that some aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. But some tools aren’t meant to be sharp. A hammer is blunt and so are you. It is okay to tell your niece that purple is not a good color on her.
Scorpio- Not all who wander are lost. Except for you. That was three rights in a row, you’re back where you started, bro. Just please use GPS, it is okay to ask for help!
Sagittarius- This isn’t fun for me to report but you have to be the one to defend billionaires. I know, it isn’t what you wanted to hear. But the stars think that there needs to be more accessible villains than the Musks and Thiels of the world. You are the new target. Embrace the heel turn.
Capricorn- The planets are embarrassed to say they have come to the conclusion that it is okay to, in fact, Live, Laugh, and Love.
Aquarius- I have another child coming this summer. Please give her a chance and help the future be a livable place? I don’t care if it is revolution or just like voting in the midterms. Just be good? For her?
Pisces- If you run over one more squirrel, something awful is going to happen to you and your family.
Aries- You know how your mom or friend’s mom was just like an [insert cute animal] mom? Like I had a friend whose mom just had pigs everywhere. Whether you are a mom or not, it is imperative you begin to collect tchotchkes of an animal of your choosing. It can’t be tigers, you’re not a weird weed dealer from 2003.
NEWS
This week, May 7th, we are back at Boland’s Irish Pub. Chris Post is the headliner and he is a damned delight. That show is free and it starts at 8 p.m.
May 16th we are starting up a new show at Wachusett Brew Yard in the Worcester Public Market. You can get tickets here.
May 17th we are also doing a show at American Flatbread. That one is free and it should be a great time.