Sports Fans, QAnon and MORE!

Here to Justify it all For You

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-Bill

Dear Shaun,

I know you have already covered the malaise of those who can’t escape the Super Bowl. Your readers contain multitudes and I, for one, am usually excited about this game. I am a fan of football, I am a fan of gathering with family and friends to enjoy the game and eat some sloppy food. Part of it I’d bet is a nostalgia thing for me, as I enjoyed it as a child and now still hold onto that part as an adult. This year, I am not excited. My theory is this game is just the football version of Trump v. Biden. The Chiefs and 49ers are two powerhouses who we’ve seen in this moment many times before. Other then their direct supporters the rest of the country doesn’t really like them. And, they already played each other in 2020. The similarities are uncanny. Can you help me find a way to still enjoy this game? Or am I stuck feel shitty about this just like I am for the Presidential race?

-Super Bummed

Dear Super Bummed,

Wow, I love this theory. This has some QAnon qualities to it. You’re like a little QAnon Shaman. If Trump supporters have taught me anything is that you twist yourself up like like the Kama Sutra to prove that you’re right and someone else is wrong. This is sort of sports fandom in a way. You pick your favorite to win and then if they lose you justify it by saying what the other team got away with. No fan of a losing team is ever at the end of the game going to congratulate the winner. They’re always like, “you’re lucky” or “if it wasn’t for x, y and z.” Pathetic. Own your loss, how else will you grow or get better?

This is good though. To start looking at the giant sports media complex through the lens of conspiracy theorists is an amazing study. Think of it, watching SportsCenter or listening to WEEI on the radio and thinking of them as quacks who are a couple of online posts away from storming a building to try and hang someone who is just trying to do their job? Incredible.

As a absolute die-hard fan of the New York Mets, I now consider myself one of those quacks. Will I tie the noose? No. Will I scream for their heads? No. Will I create a web of lies, deceits, theories, concepts and statements that help justify my unhealthy behavior and lifestyle? You betcha! I already sort of do that. I recently received the MLB App’s version of Spotify wrapped and found out I didn’t watch at least half of only 16 out of 162 games last season. That’s like Tucker Carlson fan’s numbers. Tuning in week after week listening and watching the same bullshit about other cities and their trash citizens. One day melding into the next of the same monotonous drum that is our fanaticism.

So yeah, I get it, you’ve seen this one before. But I implore you to find that other angle. That one no one is seeing because it technically isn’t there. Maybe you find that exhilaration in Usher’s halftime performance, or maybe you sink all your money into a prop bet parlay. Whatever it is, find meaning in the meaningless and it will all be okay…in your mind.

NEWS

This week I’ve got two shows this weekend. Friday 2/9 I’m at Dirigible Brewery in Littleton, MA. It is a free show and it starts at 8. It is not that far away at all, would love to see you there.

Then on Saturday I’m at The Hideout at The White Bull Tavern in Faneuil Hall. This show is always a lot of fun and I’m sure Saturday won’t be an exception. You can grab tickets here. Show starts at 7:30.

At the end of the month we have a doozy of a show at Ralph’s. We’re calling it Fresh Hot Faces. It will be a showcase of some of our favorite newer comics in Worcester, plus some old favorites that are still killing it. The show is $10 and you can get tickets here. Show is on February 23rd and it is going to be a helluva time. Poster below!