What I'm Thankful For
In this hellscape of nostalgia and late capital, try being the family IT guy
I’m thankful for Shaun and the glimmers of disarming sincerity that occasionally poke through the jokes in this joke-based column. If you are too, think about helping us keep the columns coming. Either way I’m thankful you stopped by. —Bill
Dear Shaun,
What are you thankful for? I find myself not feeling very thankful for much these days.
-Gratitude Grouch
Dear Gratitude Grouch,
Yeah, life can feel pretty grim lately. The world seems to be actively set against us. I used to joke about shirts that said “Detroit vs. Everybody.” It seems, though, that we are living in a hellscape of nostalgia and late-stage capitalism. I don’t have to go into the details, whenever you close your eyes and fall into a panic attack of carnage and villainy that’s what I would be writing about.
Surprisingly though, I am thankful for things. While I know some folks don’t get along with their family, I for some reason do. I get to live next door to my mother and help her with any IT hang ups she may have. These IT problems include but are not exclusive to:
printing
WiFi
making sure cable news works
passwords
cell phone
Of course in the moment I am rolling my eyes, but I love that I am here to help. Otherwise I would have to be explaining it over the phone or having to drive over to (most of the time) unplug a device and plug it back in.
I am thankful for my healthy, inquisitive and funny five-year-old boy. I am thankful he has picked up codeswitching so quickly and will not swear like a sailor at school or at a friend’s house. He will swear often, however, in the comfort of our home. Once, when we were reading at night I asked him if we could read one of the books his Kindergarten teacher sent home for us to read. He folded his arms, furrowed his brow and said, “those books are shit.” I am thankful that I didn’t laugh in his face, and I am thankful that he has actual taste because “learning to read” books tend to not be fun, but more instructional.
I am thankful for my wife, who just today picked up an entire 20 gallon trash bag full of trash at Indian Lake Park. She is always thinking of others and making the world around her a better place. I am thankful that she puts up with my snoring and will record me and play it back for me the next day. I am thankful for her dogs who try and bite me everyday, because I get to walk them and that forces me to exercise.
I am thankful for you all, the readers. I truly would write this every week no matter what. But, it makes it even more rewarding when you all like or comment on it or let me know in person that you liked the column that particular week. Warms my heart.
I guess the point of this is that I am thankful for my community. And sure, maybe part of your community posts on Facebook about bike lanes, and roots for ICE. But others subscribe to this Substack, and want the best for everyone. Hang out with your people and don’t let them go. Also help a senior citizen with their WiFi, they will be forever in awe of you.
NEWS
This Saturday is the Spelling Bee at Hunchback Gallery! This is going to be so much fun. We currently have 17 competitors and lots of tricks up our sleeve. Come on out, it is a fundraiser for the Worcester County Food Bank and Worcester Free Fridges. You won’t regret it!
❤️Mom