What to expect when you're expecting a family game night
With teenage daughters, maybe every night is game night
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Dear Shaun,
I would like to implement a family game night. I have a tweenager and an early teenager and they are not exactly excited about the idea. I understand their point of view, but I would really like my two daughters to spend just a little more time with their dad. Is it unreasonable to ask them to play games with me, of their choosing, after dinner on Sunday? My wife thinks this is a big ask. You’re a dad, could you reason with them?
-Board Game Geezer
Dear Board Game Geezer,
As a former youth myself, I can attest that it is very hard to get anyone to do anything that they don’t want to do. I can’t order them to do so. You can’t order them either. Tweens and teens are going to do what they want, within reason. Actually without reason as well! Of course you are thinking about the fleeting time left your nearly adult children. I think about it all the time with my five-year-old and my not-even-yet-born daughter. I frequently revisit Adam Sandler’s “Click” in my mind and get so sad about all the things I’ll miss and all the things I’ve already forgotten.
I think if you make them play games with you, they will resent you. I think if you hope they play games with you you’ll resent them. I think if you threaten them, they’ll fear you. I think if you drop the subject, they’ll maintain their relationship with you. I think if you pretend to play with them, while they are in their rooms, they’ll commit you. I think if you blackmail them, they’ll fear you. I think if you hire actors, they’ll question you. I think if you do a house labor strike, your partner will resent you. I think if you invite their friends over, they’ll be embarrassed by you. I think if you call in a bomb threat, they’ll jail you. I think if you, yourself, reason with them they may play with you one time at least.
I am assuming you and your daughters have a healthy relationship wherein they can express their emotions (to the best of their developing brains’ abilities) and you can express yours. If they have partners themselves or a friend they want to bring over they should! After all you’ll be bringing yours (wife), they should share their life with you. Maybe they don’t want to. Maybe they just play games with you. When you say games I of course first jump to Sorry or Scrabble. But, hey this could be playing Super Smash Bros. Who am I to assume?
Whether you will be gloating about your eight letter double word score, or your tween is button mashing you (as Jigglypuff) into oblivion you deserve a game night with your family. I just think you can’t be rigid about your expectations. That goes for guests, frequency, and which games you play. They are tween and teen respectively so I assume they are already playing mind games with you. You should tell them that. You can tell them that it feels as though they are fucking with you all the time, and now you should be allowed to fuck up their night for an hour when they have to yet again “pick up two” in Uno.
I find it very sweet and endearing that you want to spend more time with your girls. Some parents sort of give up when their kids get to a certain age. Know that you’ll still have chances to play or hang out with them. Ask them what they’d like to do if it isn’t games. And if that means dressing like Jet Black from Cowboy Bebop as you and your daughter head to the Anime Convention, so be it! Just remind yourself that, in fatherhood, “I'm the Black Dog, and when I bite, I don't let go.” That’s from Jet Black, by the way.
NEWS
Thursday Bryan and I are bringing the Hot Dog Wheel to The Comedy Studio in Cambridge. Our show is at 8 p.m., and they’ll be serving dogs. Come get wacky with us!
If you don’t feel like driving all the way to Harvard Sq. you can always see us for FREE right here in Worcester at Coney Island Hot Dogs where we will be doing the show again! Show starts at 8 p.m., come hungry!