Why can't Goose stay on the loose?
So what if scientists say you are an invasive species. You belong!
Hey all two quick things: please consider a paid subscription to help us stay afloat and thing number two if you pre-ordered one of the Bad Brains t-shirts like three months ago they have finally arrived from the printer and are finally in the mail. There are also some extras up on the merch store. Gunna go quick! —Bill
Dear Shaun,
I’m the lizard who was free for weeks in the Webster area this summer. I am in captivity again and will soon be moved again to a “more ecologically friendly space.” I am furious. I loved my freedom, I loved my lack of schedule and I loved my change of diet. For the first time in my short life I felt like I was worth it. I was all over the news and I had folks making memes about me. I was the topic of watercooler and barbecue discussions. I felt like I was somebody. Now I’m just another pet, with folks taking extra care of me. Can you help me?
-The Five Foot Monitor Lizard Named Goose
Dear The Five Foot Monitor Lizard Named Goose,
Hey man I feel for you. If I were just living my life one way and then I was given the opportunity to live a more purposeful and meaningful life, I wouldn’t want that taken away from me. If all of a sudden I just had people in masks on a massive search for me because of human error, I too would be scared and bummed out (especially after getting caught).
It must feel jarring to be held without your consent and in a place you don’t know or feel comfortable in. You enjoyed meandering around South Central Massachusetts, who can blame you! Douglas, Webster, Oxford all have beautiful forests and wetlands. Douglas State Park? Buffum Dam? Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg? (Of course you can just copy and paste but I really tried until I had Siri spell it out loud for me).
Yes, of course the folks around there aren’t as desirable to hang out with. But there are pros and cons to every place you live. No matter who you live near and no matter where you originally are from and no matter how you look, you deserve to exist and be treated decently. Goose, you matter and you are important even though you are just a monitor lizard who typically lives in Asia, Africa and Oceania. And so what if scientists say you are an invasive species. You belong!
My advice to you is to escape again. You’ve done it once, why can’t you do it again? I want to remind you of your strengths. You are a five-foot-long lizard, who got the name “monitor” because you tend to stand on your hind legs and “monitor” the situation. You are fearsome, Goose. People respect your power, they respect your size and they should learn to respect you, the lizard. Use your strengths to get back to the freedom you deserve.
It is not your fault. You didn’t ask to be born and you didn’t ask to be in captivity in a basement apartment in Webster (I assume), let alone in captivity. You deserve a full life, like all living things. I hope one day I go to play disc golf at Buffum Dam, or hike on the trails of Douglas State Park, or get wasted at Waterfront Mary’s and I see you sitting at the bar telling some woman your story while sipping a Mai Tai. I’m pulling for you Goose and anyone else being held without their consent for literally just trying to live their life.
NEWS
This week we have to big Worcester shows! Friday night is another rendition of Hot Dog! at George’s Coney Island. As always we expect one this to be as wild as everyone previous. It is FREE and it starts at 8 p.m.
Then, on Saturday we are starting a brand new show at Hunchback Gallery on the last Saturday of the month. It will be at 7 p.m. and it is a suggested $5 donation. Both posters are below and I hope to see you out!
