Worcester Speaks #5: Samantha Olney
"Until I was in this situation, I really couldn't empathize with people who didn't have their shit together."
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Samantha Olney is the founder of Worcester harm-reduction group Homeless Addicts Leadership Organization (HALO). You might recognize her name from previous editions of Worcester Sucks and/or recall her powerful testimony before city council about the rights and needs of Worcester’s unhoused community members.
As always, I’ve lightly edited the following conversation to make it nice to read.
Liz: Last February you very bravely filed a petition with city council to allow tents in city parks. I'd love to hear what moved you to take that step.
Samantha: So me and my boyfriend, we've been homeless now for three years, in a tent. And in one year, we were moved by Quality of Life 21 times, I think. So something needs to happen and it wasn't my actual intention or goal to have a park where we can just [live], you know what I mean? But there needs to be some kind of space where we're allowed to be. And I mean, obviously [the petition] didn't go as planned. When we filed the second petition for a sanctioned encampment, it got a lot closer. We need somewhere to be, and Quality of Life does not help the situation, I don't think.
What are those interactions with the Quality of Life team like?
They tell us we have 20 minutes to pack up our stuff and they bulldoze it. And with a tent, you know, it's not really possible. So we actually moved into Shrewsbury. Shrewsbury, they're a lot better to us. We were on the power lines. We just had to move, but right now we're sleeping in a truck. But we were there for I think, like four months, as long as we've been anywhere, so yeah.
What kind of damage does it do to your stability when you have that 20 minutes to pack up? You must end up losing a lot of your belongings.
Oh yeah, everything. We mainly try to keep our bed because being comfortable when you sleep is probably the most important. Clothes we can always get. But it's just hard when you have to start over from scratch every single time. And then even the tent itself, 'cause a lot of times you can't get the tent 'cause there's everything else that's in it, you know? Usually we like to move before we're supposed to move, so that way we don't have to deal with that.
We try to think ahead, but I remember—the Blackstone over by Walmart, there's an off ramp of 146—they literally bulldozed it and you could see the tracks going straight into the Blackstone River. It was insane. They told the people they had 20 minutes to pack up and it was snowing. Like, I just couldn't believe it. Luckily, the one time that we had to deal with Quality of Life [on] the day of, we had a group of people that came to help us move. And it took us four hours to move two tents, but we had a whole group of volunteers to help us.
Do you think Quality of Life was like, we can't do this if there are witnesses?
I think so, because Bill Shaner was there too. Like, there's other people that aren't the homeless that they could just push around and do whatever they want. Like just throw away all our stuff and treat us like not humans. And you know, they just couldn't do it. It's not just the city. It was the rubbish removal people, what's that company? They do dumpsters. I don't know. They had a dumpster. They had a front end loader. They had a bulldozer to clear up two tents.
That must be really intimidating.
Oh yeah. Especially when they show up with a bunch of cops and then they start running everybody's names. So people on the streets, we have warrants, and I had a warrant at the time, so I had to leave because they started running everybody's name. And so either I go to jail or I can have my stuff. I had to leave my boyfriend to clean up everything with the volunteers. And it's not right that they do that when they know we're all in a vulnerable situation. So what are they gonna [do], cycle us in and outta jail? And then we end up back on the street when we come out. There's nowhere for us to go when we come outta jail. And even the shelters [are] packed.
And they're gonna open up the shelter again, by the RMV. But that's only temporary. I go to the Supportive Housing and Services meeting with the city every month. And they were talking about it—they have three months that they closed down and they have more trouble closing down and opening up than they would if they just were able to keep it open year round. And they can't do it because of the state. So it’s not like the city wants—like, I can see both sides. ‘Cause I'm in these meetings with these people and they do seem genuine with their empathy. But we can't wait years for these places to be built. You know, the day center that's supposed to be open? You know it was supposed to be built what, like three years now? And the tiny house thing. That's insane what they're trying to do for that. It's not like real tiny houses. They're like apartments. Which, that's great. But we came back with a proposal to the city for a sanctioned encampment. I worked with Etel [Haxhiaj] and Thu Nguyen on this. And I created a proposal and I presented [it] to the city manager and he was like, oh, it's great, but we can't do it 'cause we need a provider and we won't get one.
A provider would be a property owner?
Like Open Sky or SMOC. But why do we need that when we can outsource all the services? Do you know what I mean? I created a 40-page proposal on this. I worked so hard and it’s for them to just shut it down. I reached out to Open Sky. The president of Open Sky goes to those meetings, so I know him and I emailed him and he's like, “I'm gonna refer you to these people,” like somebody that works under him. And they never got back to me. So it’s a dead end and I don't know what to do.
I rewatched the video of you speaking in front of city council and I was struck that you had to say “as fellow humans,” and I’m wondering how you were feeling when you had to stand up there and remind them of your humanity.
It sucks because we shouldn't have to. Recently my backpack was stolen and it had all my school stuff in it. It had my wallet in it. So I called the police. They told me they were not gonna send an officer to take my report. And this was in Worcester. And then over in Shrewsbury, we had our stuff went through and somebody stole some stuff. We don't even know what was stolen. And we know a backpack went missing, but nothing really of importance. And the cops came, they went to Shaw's, they reviewed the cameras, they treated us like human beings. So when we were packing up all our stuff in Shrewsbury, I was like, thank you for treating us like humans. And they go, but you are. So it’s such a contrast when we have to deal with Worcester [compared] to the town.
That's a really interesting thing to hear you say, because one of the bad faith narratives that I hear come up in Worcester is that unhoused people are being “sent by the towns.”
No. So one thing that I can say is people go to detox and they get left out here. So that does happen. But they're not being sent by towns to come stay in Worcester. 'Cause I know myself, when they came and they asked me, I'm like, I grew up in Oxford and I came out here and then I became homeless. It’s not like I came out here to be homeless. There's not this array of services that they can't offer me in other towns. I can get those services in towns. You know, there's probably shorter waiting lists in the towns. And they treat us better. They don't have a task force specifically for this. I understand that there's more of a homeless problem in Worcester, but they just need to learn how to deal with it better, I think.
Yeah. I wanted to ask what you think the city should be doing or have done already to prepare for the winter?
I mean, it's great that they're opening up the shelter again. And that it's not like Hotel Grace was where it's only [when it’s] 32 degrees or lower. That was absolutely atrocious 'cause it was cold even if it's 33 degrees. They should be looking at more non-congregate shelter options. And I know that it takes the attorneys and the funding and all that stuff. But why is it multiple years of these projects that can't get pushed through? There should be somebody focused on just that. Maybe having a specific group of people or a specific person focused on just that job. Because it's a huge problem. It's just getting worse.
I went into Union Station the other day and it's like a shelter right now. It's terrible. I can't even use the bathroom. I went into the women's room and there's like three stalls. You got people hanging laundry up in there. There's like 15 people in the bathroom. I'm like, this is insane. And then the men's room, there's only one stall. So you got people who are just sitting there waiting to use the bathroom for like, god knows how long. And then, you know, you got people getting high in there.
Have you had to spend time in any of the congregate shelters?
No, I won't.
Can you tell me why?
I just hear terrible, terrible things. I know people who are there and they talk about the staff, how they take advantage of the clients, how they treat them. Like it's a prison. It's not—you go there on your own choice. Why are you being treated like that? And then you got the male clients that are trying to sleep with the female clients. I know people who have been there for years.
I understand you're part of HALO Worcester and I would love to hear more about the organization.
Right now I'm in school, so it's kinda hard. But so I started a nonprofit last year in September. Have you ever heard of VANDU?
No.
So in the 90s there was a surge of AIDS and an opiate epidemic in Vancouver. So they created the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users, which was where I got the idea for HALO. It's a book called Fighting for Space. And what they did was they got all these drug addicts and homeless people together and they advocated for themselves. So that's where I got the idea for HALO and trying to advocate for ourselves 'cause that's what we need to do. Nobody's gonna do it for us. And we're the only people that know what we need 'cause people can tell us what we need and tell us how to do it, but we know better. It's just like when people go into recovery, it's better hearing it from somebody that's an addict or in recovery themselves. Lived experience.
Yeah. I understand HALO is doing harm reduction. Can you explain what that means?
I guess meeting people where they're at and helping them to move forward. Harm reduction gets a bad name, like enabling people, but people are gonna use, and it's better to make them safer. So our fiscal sponsor, what they do is every Monday they go to the Walmart area and Main South and they hand out syringes, the Narcan, food, clothes, whatever donations we can get. We're kind of in the same situation where we're not gonna tell you you have to stop using. It's up to you, you know? For myself, I started HALO using, and it gave me a purpose. When you find your purpose, you find your reason to stay off of whatever it is, you know what I mean? It's more powerful that way. So we're not gonna tell you you have to be clean.
That makes a lot of sense. You were saying that sometimes people try to tell you what you need. What do people get wrong?
“Oh, just go to the shelter.” That's the biggest one I hear. “Oh, why don't you go to the shelter?” Shrewsbury cops asked, “Why don't you go to the shelter?” And it's just not a good place. And even if I went there, what's gonna happen? I'm just gonna be stuck in a shelter. I don't have an income. I mean, I get welfare and that's not enough. I'm going to school and I'm waiting for disability. And then once I'm done with school, I won't need it. My mom [and I] talked about it, using the system for what it's intended for, so that way I can get by. But yeah, that's the biggest thing everybody tells me is, “Go to the shelter.” “You just need to get clean.” “Go to the shelter. You'll be alright.”
“Just get clean” seems like a real understatement.
“Just go to detox.” It might seem like that to some people, but if you've never experienced it yourself, you'll never know what it's like to have to think about these things. 'Cause sometimes it's do or die. I couldn't go to detox, I had to get on the clinic. I was clean for a year and a half on the clinic, and I would go to detox and I would just leave three days later. So I couldn't do detox. I was in programs as a kid, so it reminds me of the programs, then I know I can just leave. So I leave. And I did way better on the clinic. When people tell you what you have to do, it's like you don't wanna do it. And then, you know, you get defiant. And even as an adult, like people don't wanna be told what to do.
Not even children like to be told what to do! Literally no one likes that. Can you tell me what you're studying in college and what you're working toward?
Engineering.
What do you want to do with the degree?
I wanted to do oil, originally, civil and environmental. But it's so much math.
I might switch to electrical engineering because it's a lot less math. It's still math, but it's a lot less. And I've been looking at jobs like SpaceX and Tesla, because it's at least a hundred thousand dollars a year. I wanna get a masters.
Is there anything else about your life or your advocacy or your nonprofit that you'd like to share?
We're people. We deserve the same that everybody else gets, the same respect. We don't deserve to be dehumanized. I've held a sign for a long time and people just look at you on the side of the road like you're scum. And it sucks. You know, you get those nice people that really make your day. But people just need to understand we're people too.
What do you think leads people to have such a strong negative reaction to another person in distress?
I don't know, because I've had that feeling too. I've been in that situation where you think they're making bad choices, so they're just a bad person. But you don't know. Until I was in this situation, I really couldn't empathize with people who didn't have their shit together. And now it's like rock bottom has been here for a while.
I tend to wonder, if I'm driving down the road and I see someone holding a sign, maybe I start to think that could be me and that idea freaks me out. Or people start to think, wow, it's not fair and bad luck could have brought me to that position instead of this position.
A lot of people don't realize. I wasn't always housed, I had places to stay, but I wasn't always on the street either. So when I finally was on the street on the street and I had nowhere else to go, all my options were run out. I never would've thought that that would've happened to me. I guess I took it for granted, you know? And I came from a nice family. My parents took very good care of me. It's not like I had a very bad childhood. And so it can happen to anybody. And especially today, it's like one paycheck, you know? You lose your job, get in a car accident, anything.
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