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Ok now to this week’s Bad Advice!
Dear Shaun,
I always have such a hard time deciding what I should be for Halloween. I either decide something that is so niche that I end up explaining myself the whole night, or so broad me and three other people at the party are also wearing something similar. I just want to enjoy Halloween and express myself at the same time, any ideas?
-Costume Confused
Dear Costume Confused,
If you are over 30, grow up. Your costume should be minimal, linked to your child’s costume so you guys can look cute and your kid can smile at you looking like a buffoon, or so perfect and near Hollywood level that people are amazed you’re just a CPA by day. If you are over 30 and you are having trouble with a costume, then dressing up for Halloween ain’t for you, kid.
In a world where actual nightmares are in our social media feed, it is hard to dress as something truly scary. Wardrobe puns are always fun, like an “Account-tent” who wears a tent with a tie on it and holding a calculator.hose can be fun and silly. You can also be a cultural person, something in the zeitgeist. Just dress as “brat.” I don’t know you or your disposition so it is hard to say exactly what you should be. So I will give you my three favorite costumes I wore through the years.
Julia Childs: I wore a Bride of Frankenstein wig, floral patterned dress and heavy lipstick. I carried around a mixing bowl and wooden spoon and at a party I attempted and successfully baked an apple crisp without the host realizing until I pulled it out of the oven.
Your Dad at Conception: I just wore a sleeveless Van Halen shirt. Every time someone asked I told them I was their dad on the night of their conception, and that it was a beautiful night and that true love comes from true love making. (Photo evidence has been scraped from Facebook).
A Baby: I bought some Depends, wore a bib and carried around a bottle full of rum. I was 22 and thought it would be funny to try and trick or treat. The first house we went to was my eighth grade geography teacher and middle school basketball coach’s. Best part was he talked to us like what we were doing was completely normal. No mention of our age or dress. A true educator.
If all else fails, just go as the Snow Lady.
NEWS
Friday and Saturday I am hosting for unbelievably funny Will Smalley. Both shows are at 8 p.m. at The Comedy Scene in Foxboro. You can get tickets here.
Sunday I am on a show called “Statistically Funny” at the Garrison House in Brookline. The show is free.
I also am celebrating FOUR YEARS since releasing my debut album, Hot Dog! I recorded it at Coney Island and I spun the wheel to find out the order of my set, much like the show we currently do there, of the same name. It is a fun little album and has 10 years worth of material on it. I am just giving away my physical copies of it at this point. The album looks like a cassette, but actually has a USB that folds into it that has the actual recording on it. It is cool and kitschy, I think. I’ll take any amount of money or compliments for it. Email me at woocomedyweek@gmail.com if you want one. Thanks!