Phishy Marriage
Phandom is inherently lame
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—Bill
Dear Shaun,
My husband is a Phish fan. When we first started dating I had no issue with this. I thought it was kind of fun going to a big party every once in a while. I got to experience something new and exciting. I’ve never been fully into the music, it is not my thing. However, lately I am kind of getting sick of it. I don’t want to go with him as often, and I hate how often he goes. I just want my husband back.
- Phishing for Phreedom
Dear Phishing for Phreedom,
I know that I come off as this hip and cool nearly 40 year old man. But I, like all humans, can contain multitudes. At an early age I was a giant Phish fan. I was also super into straight edge hardcore and also Phish shows. I was sort of a conundrum. Often, I would go to a hardcore show in a VFW and then a couple of weeks later meet up with my uncles and see Phish play at the Centrum.
In 2004, the band went on a “definitive hiatus” and I went to a simulcast of their final concert at the movie theater in the Solomon Pond Mall. At a certain point I burst into tears over their break-up. I truly cared for that band. To counteract it, I also was at the “final Bane show” at the Palladium and when I believed them that they were breaking up too, I cried at that show too. I can love “Can We Start Again” and “Chalkdust Torture.” I can two-step to a straight edge anthem, and then get contact high in an arena.
Just wanted to lay some context for the bias I bring to this question. I understand your exhaustion with your husband and his Phish “phandom,” as it were. There are many aspects to the fanaticism around Phish that can come across as lame. But I will counter that with: Any fandom is inherently lame! As a millennial, I think I am acutely aware of this. I grew up with Gen X breathing down my neck telling me that a lot of things are lame, while simultaneously becoming obsessed with something while dialing up my internet.
Swifties, brats, Rogan fans, Yankees fans, cock-and-ball torture—all of it is lame. But it is also kind of cool for you. I am fully in the camp of not yucking yums. Will I roll my eyes privately about it? Absolutely. But I will allow all of those folks to enjoy their lives. I support Liverpool FC and tear up every weekend singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” To someone who isn’t involved? Kinda lame, but in the room, singing with everyone else, it’s emotional!
Now, what to do with your husband. You can either privately roll your eyes and keep on walking down Shakedown St. with him, or you can tell him that you don’t always have the best time at the shows and ask him to go to less of them and spend some quality time with you. That way you can get him into that cock-and-ball torture you’re so into.
NEWS
My wife broke her toe and isn’t able to walk the dogs and take care of our son, so my trip to Austin has been canceled. I am very bummed that my wife is hurt and also that I can’t escape her and my family for a few days. I don’t have any shows this weekend, but I’ll be hanging around.
We do have a show on December 5th at New Tradition Co.called “Wild Hogs.” Kudos to Bryan O’Donnell for the poster. Show is only $5.
Also shout out to everyone who comes up to me in public and says “hi.” Very fun and cool, I appreciate you all reading!
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